Funniest joke you've heared today

A married couple died in a car crash. In heaven, wife sees her husband with another girl.
Wife: “What are u doing with that girl?”
Husband: “Huh! it was only ’til death do us part, right?”

LOL. nice one XD

Nice one 1234man..

In a swimming pool:
Gary: HELP! HELP! I'm drowning! I can't swim! HELP!
Marie: So what? I cant cook, am I screaming that? Attention-seeker!

harsh XD

I just saw this tonight...
This is from our mayor triple...

"Nanay: Anak, bat mo namang naisipang magtanim sa harap ng bahay natin??
Anak: A huge wave of zombies is approaching"

we're in an english forums

tarajing10 wrote:I just saw this tonight...
This is from our mayor triple...

"Nanay: Anak, bat mo namang naisipang magtanim sa harap ng bahay natin??
Anak: A huge wave of zombies is approaching"

ugg... Fine...
"Mother: Son, why did you thought of planting plants in front of our house?
Son: A huge wave of zombies is approaching"

Sweetheart,

Thanks for the gifts you have given me. Me and our children loved everything, except for the milk. They got the poopies after drinking it. Next time, don't bring NIVEA MOISTURIZING MILK to us, ok?

love,
Honeybunch

I heard it from Spencer(Icarly)
Hey Porkchop! What's the difference between a roastbeef and a peasoup?
You can roast beef but you can't pee soap! Haha!

And i saw dis on a page in facebook(the one with the "SANA NAMAN WAG PURO YELO YUNG COKE FLOAT NG MCDO!")

Spoiler:

the pic... harsh!

hahaha! Did you get it?

the first one, actually, no